How to tap discernment.
I always wanted to make my own maple syrup. So when we moved to New Hampshire in 1989, I borrowed some old sugaring cans and tree-taps. I studied up on the art and science of sugaring. I learned, for instance, that the ideal time for running sap is a night below, and a day above, freezing. A good season only lasts days — a few weeks at best — before an extended warm spell spoils the run. Time is short.
That first March, when the weather broke, I tapped my trees. Every day I checked my pots. No sap. After several days of ideal weather I knew something was wrong. “But what?” I wondered.
I asked a neighbor to check my taps with me.
We walked through the ankle deep snow to my maples. He looked at my pots. He looked at the trees. Then he looked at me. “These here are ash,” he said, walking away.
Jesus said, “By their fruit you will recognize them.” Good advice for facing a decision or conflict. When something is wrong, but you are not sure what or why, here is a simple rule: always follow the fruit.
Several years ago I had the unpleasant task of asking an associate pastor to resign, or be fired by a church. He believed, in spite of considerable evidence to the contrary, that it was God’s will for him to remain in his position. “I won’t leave until God tells me to,” he said. (It is very common for pastors to claim — wrongly — that they and they alone are the ones to determine God’s will and call.)
“What would it look like if it was God’s will for you to stay?” I asked the pastor.
“What do you mean?” he asked, now confused about whether I wanted him to stay or to leave.
“Describe what fruit you would expect to see, feel or understand,” I suggested. “If God was prompting and guiding you to stay, what would it look like?”
Over the next hour or so we described his situation. He was clearly unhappy, his marriage was suffering and his children were rebelling. He had lost all sense of joy or peace in his work, and sparks of anger were flaring more frequently as the pastor grew impatient with others.
“Is this what we would expect to see?” I asked.
These are hard questions, not easily discerned, but the fruit will always show the way. You cannot get maple syrup from an ash, no matter how sweetly the ash protests. The real reason that this pastor would not resign was finances. He was afraid that he could not earn a living elsewhere, which is a common fear and real problem for many pastors. In the two dozen or so church interventions we have conducted over the past few years, most of the pastors had failed, were fired or asked to resign. Few left well.
They were not bad men. Many had deep character flaws, but none were evil or intended to do harm. All were sincere men who entered ministry in good faith but who, over time, developed or failed to overcome habits of sin.
Every farmer knows that fruit takes time to grow. A pastor walking with God’s Spirit will evidence spiritual fruit. He does not decide to commit adultery or some other sin overnight. Rather the seed takes root in hundreds of small concessions and steps in the wrong direction. For this reason, the Apostle Paul urges all believers to keep in step and to sow continually to the Spirit. In time, the seed sown bears fruit but there are always signs before the fruit.
More than once I have sat with an elder board after a pastor has failed morally. They shake their heads in pain at how their pastor could betray them and fail the church. They are right, of course, that the pastor is responsible. But then I will ask, “How is it possible that you have been meeting and praying every week with this man for months and you did not see that there was a problem?”
After they get mad at me and defend themselves they slowly begin to recall times when the pastor said or did something that made them feel uncomfortable, yet they did nothing to confront him. As they talk and remember, a pattern emerges and the fruit becomes clear.
“Now,” I usually ask, “who failed who?”
If church conflict was simply about individuals, and not community life, or about good versus evil, the remedy would be clear and easy.
Church conflict is always complex. It always involves the whole church — leaders and members alike.
It is the function of spiritual leadership to “keep watch” over themselves and the flock — to recognize the signs, confront the sins and to sound the siren. (Acts 20:28)
Ultimately, then, church conflict is always about leadership. Leadership is always about character. Character is always about community. If you want to know what is wrong with your church: follow the fruit.
What kind of people are you forming? What kind of fruit are your marriages and children producing?
Remain in me, and I will remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me. I am the vine;you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. Jn 15:4,5
We are formed by God’s Spirit, His Word and His people. Where are you? You cannot get maple syrup from ash.